I probably should have just listened to Paul Harvey.
Though it wasn’t actually Paul Harvey. It was Ron Chapman. And that’s probably the problem. I understand Ron Chapman is a radio legend somewhere, but I don’t live there. So, to me, he’s just an insufferable bore.
But I should have been listening anyway.
Instead I got an idea.
An idea that had been kind of simmering in my head for a week or so.
I was trying to think of a way to show that I wasn’t happy. That I was tired of bailouts. That I didn’t want to pay my neighbors’ mortgage. That I didn’t want to live in a socialist country. That I didn’t think the government should take over the banks. That I didn’t want a White House committee running the car industry, or putting a union consultant in charge of the process. That I didn’t think throwing 17,000 more troops into Afghanistan without a clear objective was a bright idea.
Basically, one month in, I’ve already had a bellyful.
Sure, on Inauguration Day I was all hope and change. He wasn’t my candidate, but he was my president, and I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Then he went on Al Arabiya.
And stole the census. And decided my confidential medical records had to be in a federal database. And tripled the deficit in three weeks while condemning George W. Bush for doubling it in eight years.
Basically, I got a bad attitude.
That wasn’t helped when I saw video of Robert Reich – if I misspelled that, it was Freudian – telling a committee of Congress that the bailout – which he largely put together – needed some infrastructure projects, but that they should be structured so that the jobs they created did not go to “white-male construction workers” or unemployed “high-skill workers.”
Because, apparently, we wouldn’t want anybody with high skills building the schools our children will attend or the bridges we will drive over. He prefers the jobs go to the “long-term unemployed,” which I always presumed meant stupid, stoned or lazy – just the folks we want to have operating heavy equipment.
Personally, I get kind of peeved when, right there in front of the TV cameras and a herd of congressmen, it’s OK to publicly say that the stimulus isn’t for “white-male construction workers” and those evil “high-skill” people. I suppose they got those high skills by doing something despicable, like going to college or trade school or taking an apprenticeship or spending 20 years on the job learning how to do things right.
Apparently, laid-off engineers and computer guys and nurses – “high-skill workers” – get no part of the stimulus. Ditto for “white-male construction workers.”
Basically, it ticked me off.
Like I got ticked off from seeing the Democrats hopping all over themselves to say talk radio should be forced to be “balanced,” and that the freedom-choking Fairness Doctrine should be imposed not only on radio, but on the Internet.
Honestly, I expect one of these Democrats to start chanting something about “Four legs good, two legs better.”
And I wanted to express that. I wanted something that would say I wasn’t happy with this, that I wasn’t going along with it, that the gutting of America and American freedom was not something I supported.
A bumper sticker would be good, I figured, but I suspect that a bumper sticker critical of the ruling junta in Washington would get my car vandalized, and maybe worse.
So that had been playing on my mind.
And when I should have been listening to Ron Chapman, I got an idea.
I was sitting there in the studio, waiting for him get done and my turn to come, and a word came to me. A newly coined word. Four letters. Pronounced “foo-bow.” Like in “food” and “bow and arrow” – “foo-bow.”
So I googled around a bit and found a bumper sticker company. They had a template for those little oval stickers people have. The ones with some sort of abbreviation in there. I think they come from Europe.
Anyway, I found a template for one of those and I typed in my new word – “foo-bow.” I liked how it looked so I put it in my cart and proceeded to checkout. I ordered 20 because I got a good price.
And right about then, Ron Chapman was done and my microphone came on and I told the producer, Nick, what I had done.
I told him I had made a bumper sticker. I described the oval – black background with white letters – and my new word – foo-bow – spelled FUBO.
It took him about five seconds.
Then the phones lit up. Dozens and dozens of people called. They wanted a bumper sticker just like mine.
On the next commercial break, I checked my e-mail and there was a note from a man at a T-shirt company. He said he’d like to try to make some T-shirts with my new word on them. Several other people wrote offering to make bumper stickers. One gentleman said he would embroider a hat with FUBO on it.
A company vice president called up Nick and said we ought to do something with this.
Callers started using the word – foo-bow – almost like a greeting, or a password. Just as Rush Limbaugh callers sometimes use the word “ditto,” people were using “foo-bow.” One man even said, “Mega FUBO.”
By the end of the show, a plan was coming together so that by this morning there would be a web store set up with T-shirts, buttons and bumper stickers with various graphic permutations of foo-bow. It’s a movement.
And if I make any money off it, I’m going to buy a gun before the ruling regime outlaws them.
Basically, people either love the idea, or hate it, or stare blankly at me saying, “I don’t get it.”
Personally, I’m buying a T-shirt for myself and at least a couple of my daughters. And I can’t wait to put the bumper sticker on my truck.
I know that last year it was patriotic to question the president, and that this year it is treasonous, but before they outlaw the First Amendment altogether I want to get in my last dig.
Because what’s happening to our country is wrong. There is a purge going on, a purge of American freedom and common sense. The socialist attack on those who produce and the wholesale subsidization of those who don’t produce has begun. The Constitution and the Declaration are in the crapper.
And it’s not quite America.
I want my country back.
And I’m willing to say so. That’s what Americans do. The attorney general may believe that we – and the Americans who came before us – are a “nation of cowards,” but I believe he is wrong.
And I’m willing to say so.
I’m willing to spit back in the face of arrogance.
FUBO. Big time.
And I invite you to join the cause.
To find a link to the FUBO stuff, go to www.wham1180.com and type in the keyword “bob.” You will find the link on the page that pops up. Look at the stuff, see what you think, and if you agree, get some.
And start using the word – “foo-bow.” Say it, write it, trace it in the dust on your car windows, put it up on a sign in your window.
You know what it means. You know what it represents. It’s time to show what you stand for.
So, order quick, before somebody tries to get me fired for doing this.